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Monday, November 17, 2014

Homemade Prik Nam Pla (Thai hot sauce)

Thai chilis
A handful of years ago while attending the paralegal program at Cal State University, East Bay campus, my classmate and friend Emily brought me some steamed rice and a sealed container of homemade Prik (Thai chili) Nam Pla (fish sauce).  I LOVE hot sauce and I'd never had anything similar to this; throughout our semesters together, from time to time, she'd surprise me with this Thai treat. Her Thai neighbor made the recipe from memory, but I have found a few online that are all very simple and achieve a similar result.

I loosely followed a recipe I found, changing it slightly to fit my personal taste.
 

Red onion and garlic
Original recipe:
3 Tablespoons fish sauce
3 cloves garlic
4 Thai chili
3 pieces of lime
3 Tablespoons sugar
Red onion (no amount specified)





I made the recipe as directed but only used almost 2 Tb of sugar (we ran out). The result was a slightly salty hot sauce, that wasn't hot enough for me (I can handle "very spicy") so I added:

Tiparos brand fish sauce - $2

3 more Tb fish sauce
2 cloves garlic
7 Thai chili
Lime juice (I gave the bottle a good squeeze!)
Red onion (chopped very fine)
2 Tb rice vinegar
Sesame oil - just a splash
Parsley









Rice vinegar, sesame oil, & lime juice
 Prik Nam Pla is generally used as a condiment but is also a good dip.  The hot sauce is still a little bit salty for me. Fish sauce is made from sardine extract so I'm trying to think of something that will help balance the strong salt taste. This is probably why it's so good over rice. Perhaps a little extra parsley in my next batch will help a little. 


I purchased my fish sauce at a local Asian (Korean) market for $2.  The rest of the items I already had. I buy Thai chili peppers at the local produce market, along with my parsley, red onions, and peeled garlic. All of the ingredients are inexpensive and the recipe is fast and simple.









 Don't let the idea of liquid fish in a bottle scare you - my husband said "fish sauce" makes his skin crawl.  It's full of flavor and a staple of most Southeast Asian countries. Fresh, homemade hot sauce is a wonderful and healthy way to spice up your cooking and is especially delicious on fresh vegetables and other side dishes.


Final product - Prik Nam Pla




 




Sunday, October 26, 2014

Mt. Diablo Legal Professional's Association, Contra Costa County

10/20/14

If you are currently working as a legal professional in Contra Costa County, becoming a member of the MDLPA is a very valuable (and fun) way to invest in yourself.  I have been a member of MDLPA for several years and enjoy making friends and hearing speakers at the monthly membership meetings.  These regular meetings are held the second Monday of every month and potential members and guests are welcome to attend. In attendance they often have paralegals, legal secretaries, document solution companies, staffing agencies, and reporting service companies.  It is a wonderful opportunity to network with other legal professionals over dinner.

Emails are sent out between meetings updating us on important changes to local and federal laws, court schedules and other relevant matters. We also receive notices of employment opportunities, and from time to time a member will submit a question in hopes that someone with more experience in that area can help answer it.

We currently have over 50 members. General membership dues are only $50 annually. Student memberships are offered at a discounted rate. The monthly dinner is less than $25 for members and often includes MCLE credits, a big bonus for paralegals like myself who are required to complete several hours a year. Many law firms are happy to pay these fees for their staff - I'm lucky to work for a firm that will pay for any employee to join and attend. Speaker topics vary month to month and our speakers are often local attorneys, judges, court staff, and other legal professionals.

Fundraisers are held throughout the year, as well as interclub events with other local associations.  Crab feeds, dinner and theater nights, horse racing, and bowling are all examples of FUNdraising activities. Some of the funds contribute to our scholarship fund which is awarded annually to a local college student.

MDLPA is one of the 58 associations of Legal Secretaries, Inc. (lsi.org).  LSI Quarterly conferences take place through the year and are hosted by different associations. I attended my first conference in Sacramento this summer. LSI offers the California Certified Legal Secretary (CCLS) examination.  It is a comprehensive exam and you must maintain your certification once you have passed with continuing education. MDLPA offers a study group to help you prepare to take the exam, which is offered twice a year.

The best way to learn more about this association is to attend a meeting. Dinners are held at Buttercup Grill in Walnut Creek and you must RSVP in advance.  More information about dinners, events, speakers, and the association can be found on their webpage.

Monday, July 28, 2014

I'm So Egg-Cited!

Saturday, July 26, 2014 - A serious egg-craving comes out of nowhere!

So there I am on Saturday night sitting at home with my husband, when all of a sudden we both start craving eggs. We had finished off our cage-free eggs from Costco earlier in the week and Trader Joe's across the street was already closed for the night. So naturally, instead of finding something else for our late-night snack, Casey got in his car and drove a few miles to Safeway. He came home with a loaf of bread and 18 fresh, cage-free eggs.

(Any kind-hearted person should spend the
extra $1-2 & buy cage-free;
or better yet, purchase eggs from your
local farmer's market.)
Our amazing ceramic cookware
My grandmother used to cook me eggs a lot when I was little.  Actually, ever time I go visit my grandparents to this day, she cooks me eggs. One of my favorite ways for her to make my egg breakfast was her "snake eyes". I now get to enjoy cooking eggs for my husband this way - it adds a little fun to your plate. Start by heating butter to coat the bottom of your cooking pan.  Choose a pan big enough for two pieces of bread.  Cut an "X" into each piece of bread.


 
Place your bread into the pan and carefully break an egg into the middle of each slice of bread.  Cook to your liking and then flip the bread.  Casey likes his eggs over easy so they only cook on each side a minute or so.  I cook mine longer.


After both sides of the toast and eggs have cooked, remove from the pan and serve by themselves or with jelly.

It takes a little imagination now, but as a child, it was easy to see the "snake eyes" on my plate - and it is still a delicious and fun way to cook and serve eggs!






After cooking Casey's eggs I added more butter to the pan and placed two thick onion ring slices on the heated pan.  I used the middle of the onion in order to get the biggest rings.



Two large onion rings for the eggs,
smaller onion rings for snacking



 
 
Next, I cracked an egg inside the onion ring. When I went to crack my second egg, I placed one hand accidentally on the hot stove and burned it, causing me to drop the egg on the floor.  I scooped part of it up, but didn't put it inside the second onion circle because of my hurry to toss it into the pan and get some flour for my burn.
(Hint: putting flour on a burn takes the pain away!)
 
 
Just as I had done with the bread, I flipped my egg/onion over after a couple of minutes.  This is a great way to cook an egg perfectly sized for a sandwich, but it's also just a tasty, fun way to serve eggs. Especially if you like grilled onion! (I threw in a couple extra pieces of onion for eating because I love it hot and grilled.)  So next time you're cooking eggs, there are a couple of ways to make it more egg-citing!
 
And if youre NOT an egg-eater (for all my vegan friends),
below is a link to the latest egg-replacement news from a local (San Fran) company
using plants to replace chicken eggs. Enjoy!
 

Wednesday, May 28, 2014

In Music News....What Does The Fox Say?

 
May 28, 2014
 
We spent last weekend in Bend, Oregon with our friends Cameron and Ruston. We drove up on Thursday (5/22) and took our time during the drive in order to stop often and explore.  We arrived late that night after 12 hours on the road, but slept great (in Ruston's bed; with Ruston's doggie!) and woke up refreshed and ready for adventure on Friday. There is a lot of beer in Bend, OR.  Needless to say, we consumed a lot of it! We hopped around and stopped at lots of microbreweries, then picked up some beers for the house.  Late into the evening on Friday night, we had music playing on the TV as we all talked and laughed. 
 
Have you seen the "People Are Awesome" videos? You should.  Because: People. Are. Awesome. We mostly had those playing in the background. Until a couple song requests came up....
 
Cameron played a song titled "The Big Bad Wolf" by Duck Sauce. I'm going to attach a link to a video but I'd like to first say that this is one of the weirdest things you (and 8 million others) will ever view. Nightmares.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKMoVAObbhE
 
Ruston is known by me for his great music choices.  He provides the soundtrack for all the fun weekends we've spent together: at our home in Concord, the cabin in Lake Tahoe, and now in Oregon!  This weekend he played a song titled "What Does the Fox Say" by Ylvis.  I had actually recently just watched a comic (non-music) video by the same duo about an "Intelevator". It was really funny, so I'm not surprised that their music video is also every bit as funny and entertaining.  What did surprise me, is that with more than 414 million views, it's only #27 on a list of Youtube's most viewed videos.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_viewed_YouTube_videos
 
Note: "Gangnam Style" by Psy is #1 on that list, with almost 2 BILLION views. 
 
I attempted to attach the music video for "What Does the Fox Say?" below - if that doesn't work, definitely check it out on youtube.  (I'd like to see it move up from position #27!! ) It's a really high-quality video, and I think it's a pretty awesome song! Perhaps you'll agree. Or perhaps you're opinion of my music recommendations will take a big dive.  (Though I'm pretty sure that already happened if you braved "The Big Bad Wolf".)
 
Since I'm in a generous mood, I'll share one more video. One final video we watched that I came home wanting to hear more of was Lindsey Sterling's "Shadows". It's beautiful violin with a pretty face and energetic dance feet. Amazing!
 
 
ENJOY ALL!!!
 
 

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Bullying and Trolling: Not Cool

Picture this:

Identify the bully
A group of children play together on a schoolyard at recess.  One child, the "bully" teases another little boy because the child is much smaller than him.  The little boy stutters so he tries to not speak much so that he won't be teased.  The other kids laugh, which reinforces the bully's behavior, and he goes on to tease the child daily to the amusement of others.  The little boy begins to cry and the bully yells "Wh-wh-what's wrong buh-buh-buh-baby?!" The other kids laugh harder and the boy cries more.  It's hard to picture this, but this happens every day.  Children are teased because they are too tall, too skinny, too fat, too poor, too different.

Now, picture this instead:

Cat bullying dog
The same group of children play together at recess.  The bully approaches the small child and begins to taunt him for his speech impediment.  A little girl comes over and puts her arm around the small boy's shoulder and says, "it's okay how you talk.  Let's go play over here."  They walk away and play with the other children.  The bully is left all alone.  The next day the bully approaches the small boy again. "Duh-duh-duh-don't you lu-lu-look stupid today?" Another boy walks over and asks the little boy if he wants to go play on the swings.  The bully is left all alone again.

That's a much happier image, right?!

Which behavior encourages the bully to keep bullying, and what makes him stop?  If the other children ignore the bully, or stand up for the children being bullied, I believe that the bully may begin to stop being mean so that he can play with the other children.  Obviously, sometimes there's more to it than that.  Perhaps verbal abuse at home teaching the child that bullying is okay? Or there's a deeper psychological issue? But sometimes it's just a cry for attention - and they want attention so badly they'll be mean to others to get it. Which is why it's important for parents to teach their children to be proactive.  Encouraging a bully isn't as bad as being a bully, but you can help put a stop to bullying by standing up for others.

Trolling on the Internet

I think a lot of children don't "grow out of" this behavior.  I'd like to believe a person potentially

Kittens bullying dog
could, but then I open up ANY article (on any subject) on the Internet, and likely find someone posting mean comments at the bottom.  Followed by a dozen replies.  Finally the comments turn into this hateful, racist, back and forth slew of replies. The subject of the article is no longer even the topic of comments.  Often they go to attacks on religious or political beliefs.
There are just too many of these Internet bullies "trolling" the Internet to believe that ignoring them will make it stop.  It will never stop, there will always be someone looking to start a fight for no reason. But responding is what they want and every person has control over their response (or lack of response).  They want to get your attention.  Your reply is like the laughter of the other children, egging on the bully, except that s/he is laughing at you.  If you ignore these comments, you'll likely forget about them all together, and go about enjoying your day. Find someone you agree with instead, and compliment them for sharing their thoughts.  Reward the kind-hearted people, not the evil ones. I promise it'll make you feel better inside than fighting with someone else.

Love one another
Cat bullying hamster
Animals bullying people

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Something To Be Thankful For

"Be joyful always,

pray without ceasing,

& in everything give thanks"

 
I think that it is important to live each day with a thankful heart.  Life is so precious, and I feel thankful for every moment I have.  I am thankful for my loving husband, my caring family, my thoughtful friends, and for all the people who aren't yet in my life. 
 
I am thankful for the good days and the bad ones. 
 
Some days it's hard to find reasons to be thankful. If this happens to be one of those days for you, let me make it a little easier:
 
Please view the proud MOMMY SPIDER covered in babies 
that our friend Jesse Sharp found in his home today.
Windsor, California
 
 
 
Be thankful you don't have her and all her babies as your housemate!!! Unless, of course, you live somewhere that you might see something like this indoors.
That would be absolutely  terrifying.

 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Sometimes You Just Know (How I Met My Husband)

At the beginning of 2010 I found myself single and ready to meet new friends and have some fun.  I developed a great friendship with a friend from school.  Emily and I knew from the first day of paralegal school we were going to be friends.  We just knew!  We planned every class together and tied for top of each class with our straight A grades.  A teacher once pulled us aside and told us we belonged in law school, that we would be bored as paralegals.  It wasn't just her intelligence that drew me to her.  She was fun!  Emily and I referred to ourselves as "double trouble".  We found ourselves going out late, grabbing drinks after class, and having bonfires in my parent's backyard.  But perhaps there is such a thing as "too much fun." I began to realize we were sitting right on top that fence.

Perhaps that is why that after having a drink with a friend I'd known from grade school on March 5, 2010, I pursued a relationship with him.  Jesse was pretty much the opposite of me.  He loved being at home and worked very early in the morning so never went out late. This was a good thing! I enjoyed sitting at home and watching TV.  Most of the time.  From time to time I'd get calls from friends asking if we wanted to join them for pool or dinner.  But that wasn't really our style. I missed my friends.  We didn't even go out for dinner much; I just cooked at his house.  I loved that he had a good job and owned his home so I didn't complain that we spent all our time there and never went out for fun. It was what I thought I needed to settle down. Perhaps it was...
Jesse's friends came over pretty often. And then we'd all sit and watch TV together. So it wasn't a surprise when he told me on April 8, 2010 that his friend Casey was coming over for dinner and to spend the night before a day in SF with his family for the Giant's home opening game of the 2010 season.  Casey was planning to move to Florida and had a TV he was selling to Jesse.  I cooked dinner and then after some time spent in front of the TV, asked if the boys wanted to go play pool.  Jesse made a joke about me "always bugging him to go out" but told Casey he was free to go hang out with me.  Casey happened to love pool, so we drove to Cue N Brew in Martinez.  We paid for games by the hour and ordered drink after drink after drink.  Hours went by. I didn't win a single game. Then Casey started beating me with one hand, and taking shots on the 8 ball while looking at me.  Who was this show off?!  We really talked about everything, and he told me that if he were ever to marry again, it'd be to someone like me.  I told him to knock it off, since he was Jesse's friend.  As he used the restroom before the end of the night, I snuck my credit card to the waitress. I didn't want it to feel like a real date (even though it already did), so I decided he couldn't pay for any of my drinks.  Had I known the size of our tab I probably would have insisted he pay!


The next day I called my Mom and talked to her about how I felt about Casey. He was moving to Florida and I was dating his friend. It was absurd to even consider something more, but I couldn't let it go.  The night before we had talked about going to a Warriors game. We'd both said we wanted to get to one soon, and only a couple of days went by before Jesse asked me if I wanted to go to a game with Casey; he was going to be back in town.  I said yes! Jesse drove us to BART and dropped us off.  When we arrived at the game a huge rainbow was over the walkway from BART to the stadium. It was beautiful. Had it even been raining? We then realized we had both been under the impression the other one had tickets.  We lucked out and found tickets only a few rows off the court, from a man who had two extra and was happy to sell them for really cheap. It felt like lightening inside of my body when our knees bumped into one another throughout the game.  Was I leaning toward him in hopes my shoulder would brush his? Yes, I was.  As we rode BART home, the train was packed and we were pressed close to one another (and a ton of other hot, sweaty people).  But for me, it was only Casey and me on the train. And I tried to ignore how I felt but just couldn't imagine going home yet.  I didn't want the night to end, so we called my friend Sara and she picked us up and we all went to CJ's Saloon. It's a total dive bar but the owner is great and we always have fun.

April 16th is when Casey and I officially started dating.  It sounds crazy but he told me he loved me that night as we fell asleep. (I told him he sounded crazy!) I had broken up with Jesse after not even knowing Casey a week, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My friends said they couldn't believe I'd met someone who was exactly like me. They all saw it right away also. We weren't the only ones falling in love. Within a short time after we began dating we had been to the Warriors game, an A's game, a Giant's game, and out with friends so many times.  I was singing karaoke with my friends and I met his friends as we played pool at their local bars and went to festivals like Petaluma's Butter and Eggs Day.  I met his family and loved them. My friends and family loved Casey, and they loved the person I was as I spent more time with him.  I loved that person too. 

I met my best friend on April 8, 2010, and we BOTH JUST KNEW.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Raccoons of the Contra Costa Canal

4/9/14

As with any subject in life, some people feel very differently than others about the presence of raccoons near their homes and yards.  Emotions surrounding one's view of raccoons likely depends on the kind of experiences they've had with them.  I've met a lot of people that feel very negatively about the furry bandits.  Perhaps gangs of them would sneak through their garbage at night, and leave them with the job of throwing everything away (for the second time) the next morning?  I could see that leaving a negative impression.  A small number of people keep North American raccoons as a pet.  I would more likely fall in that group, since they kind of remind me of a large cat.

My parent's home in Walnut Creek was the last house on their street, with a trail and a creek on the other side of their fence.  The trail was dirt when we moved in and my little sister and I would ride our dirt bikes on it, until it was paved in the early 1990's and motorized vehicles were no longer allowed.  The creek was a great place to play! A rope swing was the meeting place for neighborhood children for many summers. I also spent countless afternoons with my father crawdad fishing there.  We tied bacon to the end of our lines and pulled up the hungry little guys when we saw them grab on. We would sometimes eat our catch (though now I would not recommend eating anything out of the creek).  We also ended up with an aquarium of crawdads, and I learned a lot about them and watched them breed and sometimes cannibalize their young! I like to think that the creek crawdads thrived because the local raccoons were being fed elsewhere. 

Raccoons tend to live near water.  The meaning of their name comes from a combination of words that represent how they use and clean their hands.  My parent's have a "pet door" on both doors leading to our backyard for their small dogs. This also allowed our cats to come and go, though they really preferred to be indoors. However, we always kept a dish of dry food and fresh water out on the front deck for them. Often, I found other neighborhood cats coming by for food throughout the day, and I gave them names and made friends. A big orange cat was my favorite! "Peaches" would come inside sometimes but usually wanted out right away. I wondered if my cats made friends with other people, and hoped that they did not. What if they found someone they liked living with more than me?  :)  Foolish me: Impossible!

After the sun went down, another type of animal came for food and water.  The RACCOONS! With easy access under the front deck, they found shelter as well.  A family of raccoons made a nightly visit to our home. They cleaned their hands and then set to work eating the bowl of cat food. If the food was empty, they'd rap on the window and pop their heads up to ask for a refill. Year after year baby raccoons would join the family - there were even a few albinos in the group.  They used the pet door a couple of times and knew exactly were the inside food dish was.  Mom definitely did not approve of this. I also just about had a heart attack once when I walked inside our home and was greeted with a growl.  It wasn't a mean growl - the poor little guy was as scared as I was.

None of them were very aggressive.  A few would take food from your open palm if you held it out.  My dad was bit once, but I always escaped with only the soft, gentle movement of their claws attached to their very tactile hands.  I talked to them a lot at night.  They all had their own personalities. Some were slightly aggressive and fought the others for the first bites of food.  One of them lived with what I'm pretty sure was the equivalent of a developmental disability.  This sweet little guy would lay on the front deck, sometimes during the day. I found him napping on the front stairs leading to the door from time to time. His tongue was always hanging out and he walked a little funny. Not with a limp like he'd been hit by a car, more like he just leaned awkwardly.  I loved them all.

I'll never forget one night when I heard a scream. A horrendously unnatural, hair-raising scream of pain and fear.  I don't think I even realized at the time what I was hearing. A big raccoon was attacking one of the little ones. As the little one ran, the big one would chase and knock him down. It was horrible. I ran outside screaming at them to stop but the little one tried to climb away instead.  The big one began his climb also. They are actually very fast! I ran inside to get a pot to bang on but as I came back out they were both running off.  I hoped the little one hadn't fallen, and that he made it safely away. 

Some time later the neighbor across the street began trapping the family. Animal control in Contra Costa County receives the most calls for raccoon removal.  Where are they supposed to go? My mom told me our neighbor used live traps to relocate them, but these are animals who tend to live close to water sources; like a creek. They like to clean their hands and food. Plus, running water means drinking water.  I don't know where raccoons are moved to, but when you're moving one at a time, it would be impossible for families to stay together. Our pack was a family and I imagine without the protection of one another, a bigger raccoon would have no reason to not attack a small one in a wild, open space.  I think about my little friend with his tongue hanging out. He probably only survived as long as he did because our creek was safe and there was a lot of shelter and few nearby predators. 

I do understand that you are not to feed wild animals.  With the current drought in California, I often see reminders not to provide water for them either, because it is encouraging larger animals to come down from the hills into yards, in search of water.  It is safer for pets, communities, and drivers if they are not in our streets and near our homes.  But I do feel sad for my raccoons.  It was a long time ago now, but my mom still leaves water and food out for her cat, Chloe.  And every time I see the dishes I think of the little furry bandits I used to talk to.









Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Little Blessings for a Mobile Notary

I started doing mobile notary work about a year ago.  My real estate agent had called me one night and asked if I'd meet her at the hospital.  My husband went with me and her family signed numerous documents, with the unfortunate news her father did not have long to live. I didn't even want to charge her since we're friends but she said it wasn't fair that I came so late and it took so long, and insisted she pay me.  I thought it wasn't fair that she was cancelling her trip to Greece the next day and saying goodbye to her father, but graciously accepted the offer of payment.  And that's when it crossed my mind there is a need for a person who will travel to you at any time of night to do a notary.  It occurred to me that most of the people in need would probably be very ill, if they were unable to travel on their own, but I knew immediately it was something I wanted to do.

I set up a page on Yelp: "After Hours Mobile Notary" of Concord. And soon after, I began to get calls. I feel like $10-20 for travel fee is fair to both parties, so I never charge more than that, and sometimes I don't charge a travel fee at all.  I accept calls any time I hear my phone ring and have gone out very late at night.  My listed hours say I work until 11:30 pm.  I skip lunch from time to time in order to meet someone on my one-hour break from my office job. I've traveled as far as El Sobrante (20 miles), but generally my calls are closer than that. I've met at homes, businesses, hospitals, banks, auto shops, and other places!

I remember a call I received when I started that brought me to Pittsburg (15 miles away).  Pittsburg has some rough neighborhoods so my husband went with me and stayed in the car. I knocked on the door and it opened slowly.  It was very dark inside. I admit, I am often nervous about going in to homes alone because I don't know who or what waits inside. I entered slowly as I waited for my eyes to adjust. And then, I was observed by an entire family and directed to the back of the house.  There in bed lay the tiniest man I'd ever seen.  He was so skinny! He was on his side moaning and another man was in the room too: his attorney. His attorney apologized for the smell and the scene, neither of which bothered me.  A blanket shifted slightly and I saw his bare hip, which looked mostly like bone and my eyes swelled. He was a black man but he looked so pale and ashen. Good Lord, Amy, hold it together! He barely acknowledged me but was coherent.  The man looked so old and broken - I wanted to hug him and smile.  The attorney explained to him what he was signing, and he did his best to make his legal mark.  It took him a very long time. I left the room and joined his family at the front of the house. They told me about his cancer.  His children were actually younger than me: an athletic college-aged boy, and a girl with a short skirt and pretty hair. This man was much younger than I had thought at first glance; younger than my own parents.  The door had not even shut behind me yet when the tears started to come. I returned to my husband's car, and noticed all his texts to my phone. He was worried about me; I had been gone so long. I cried and told him about the man and the children and the smells. I told him about the cancer. It was the first time I'd ever seen someone like this before, and I'll never forget it. In turn, he shared with me about losing his grandmother to cancer, and her fast deterioration, and I knew he understood what I'd just seen.

I knew then that I was meant to see elderly and ill people; and see them at their weakest moments. That it would teach me compassion and remind me to appreciate life and spread love to every person. I go from place to place, often times finding elderly people alone, and sometimes quite lonely. One visit to an assisted living center and I was told the woman had not had visitors in the almost year long period she'd been there. She stayed alone in her bed, every day. She'd lost so much weight her dentures no longer fit properly and she was very difficult to understand. I always ask if the resident enjoys the assisted living center they're in.  Some do. Some have wonderful stories and smiles when they're asked. Others do not smile, and they do not enjoy where they are.

I once arrived at a rehabilitation facility and the client wasn't answering my calls, so I had no idea where to go.  So naturally, I explored! I found myself in the cafeteria.  I joined a table of men in the middle of dinner. They were of various ages and reasons for being there. One older man showed me the custom jewelry he made and sold online - he was missing an arm! I could not for the life of me identify what they were eating. The gray mush looked terrible.  I finally asked, and they weren't really sure either.  Not cool.  They each had a cup of ice cream for dessert.  The man to my left offered me his but I let him keep the only identifiable part of his meal.

It was late in summer last year when we put my cat down. It was the hardest good bye I could ever remember saying, and it brought me closer to the people I helped. My heart hurt so much ! At times I wept uncontrollably, even at my desk at work. I thought it would never stop.  How much worse the pain must be for these suffering people, and for the family members suffering alongside them. Nothing brings comfort to the grieving and it's never easy to say goodbye to anyone you love (cats included).

Not long after the incident with my cat, I met Tom & Karen Hill. Tom had called me and I drove to the trailer park where they lived off the run-down part of Monument Boulevard in Concord. This was not a nice, safe, mobile home park. It was a messy, dirty, trailer park.  On one of my visits Tom told me that the neighbors started coming around asking for pain pills after they heard his wife was sick.  Karen wasn't just sick; she was dying.  When I first met her, she wasn't able to get out of bed so I went into the small trailer and sat at her side.  She was so small too and my heart was reminded of the man in Pittsburg.  I left their home and sent a card a few days later.  They needed me to return another time and I picked some flowers outside of my office and brought them with me.  She still had them by her bed on my third visit, with my card taped to the wall.  These were two amazing people.  I wanted my husband to meet them, so I brought him with me on a visit.  Karen didn't have long. She could no longer sign her name and was almost too weak to make her legal mark. It was hard for me, but I enjoyed talking with her.  Near the end, she had her nails done with jewelry on her fingers. She told me she wanted something pretty to look at as she went to heaven.  She then told me about her first marriage, and also how happy she was with her husband now. We talked quite a while.  Through it all and my many visits, Wells Fargo in Concord was giving Tom hell as he tried to merge their accounts and get her finances in order.  The progression of her cancer had been so fast and they thought they would have more time but it was only a couple months after her diagnoses and here she was, unable to get out of bed. The indescribable horrors he faced included them being difficult on the day hospice told him it would probably be his wife's last. He should have been by her side every second but Wells Fargo was too evil to allow this. I helped as much as I could as he dealt with them but their overall actions were sickening to me.  I called Tom several weeks after his last call to me and asked how he was. When he said that Karen was gone I cried on the phone with him. He told me he couldn't bare to see her in such pain and was glad it was over. He reminded me to be happy and not cry for her.  I still think about them both from time to time, and it still makes me sad. But happy too for having met them.

I try to remember to bring joy with me when I do notary services; well, really I try to be joyful every moment of every day. I never know what sort of person I'll be meeting when I get a call. Sometimes it's a mother with a newborn baby that just wants the convenience of someone to come to their home, and for $10 it's really worth it! And sometimes it's someone saying goodbye to their mother. But at all times, I want to leave the people I encounter smiling, even if their hearts are heavy. I truly believe smiles are contagious. I've been asked by strangers in our office building what I'm smiling about. I never have more of a reason than "it's a good day".  Because EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY. Hug and kiss those around you, call the people you love, and smile at all the strangers. It's the easiest way to bring happiness to yourself and share little blessings with others.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

!Cuidado! Piso Mojado!

Today started out as most days do for me: I slept in about five minutes longer than I intended. I fed the cats before leaving for the bank. I made deposits into two work accounts and then enjoyed a short drive to my office.

I almost always eat an exciting breakfast after I get to work. Today I had can of artichoke hearts from Trader Joe's, followed by some Chex Mix and hot sauce, a cup of microwavable Mac N Cheese, and 2 gummy vitamins. I drank glass after glass of refreshing water, improving the taste by adding slices of my Mom's Meyers lemons. By the time noon rolled around, I was ready for a bathroom break!

Our building has a men's and women's restroom on each of the four floors that is shared by all of the offices on that floor. It gets restocked and picked up every afternoon and thoroughly cleaned in the evenings. It's always felt super clean to me and a lot of times I don't even use a toilet seat cover. Yes, it's that clean in there!

Being clean still doesn't mean you want to spend a lot of time on a bathroom floor.  But just as I entered the door to our ladies room, my feet hit a small puddle of water and completely went out from under me. I have never fallen so hard in my life. My knee and wrist connected first and my hip and shoulder hit the floor less than a second later. I laid there stunned! Stunned by the shooting pain, stunned by the speed I went down and how fast it had happened, and stunned that I could actually move and seemingly nothing was broken. I didn't hit my teeth or my head so that was good. But I did hit my entire left side, and 150 pounds of Amy smashing onto one side really emphasized the extra 20 pounds I've put on since my wedding two years ago. But perhaps it was some extra cushioning too? I'm alright with extra cushioning if it's going to break my falls. Is this what getting old is like? You start falling down and getting hurt?!

A couple of hours went by and I can really feel the fall through my shoulder and hip and a little bit at my lower neck. I have a headache. I've taken 6 Excedrin and 4 Aleve. What's tomorrow going to feel like?  I  reported it to our nice building manager upon the insistence of my boss. I really don't feel like a wet floor is all that unexpected or unreasonable in a community bathroom. Some people need life to be a series of "Caution: Wet Floor!" warnings, because should they slip and fall and there's was no warning, it's obviously someone else's fault. But I don't want to see "Cuidado! Piso Mojado!" everywhere I go. I think people have an obligation to look out for themselves. If you see a wet floor, dry it, or alert someone. Step carefully! I thoroughly dried the floor in our restroom. Partly with my body, but finished it up with some paper towels.

I wonder how many people fell down around the world today, and how many of those people immediately looked up the definition of negligence to see if it was someone else's fault. I don't need to look up anything to do with slip-and-falls because I work for a terrific Personal Injury attorney. Sometimes a fall is just a fall (but don't tell that to an attorney). But sometimes there are dangerous situations.  To be fair to me, I wasn't in a hurry when I entered, I am pretty agile, and I was wearing tennis shoes with a good, solid sole... Plus I was completely sober!  Maybe some other Amy in New Orleans also fell down on a wet bathroom floor today after one too many lunchtime Mardi Gras libations. Hope she was as cool about it as I was. 
Happy Fat Tuesday to my NOLA doppleganger and me, and well-wishes for my speedy recovery.

Friday, February 21, 2014

"Flatbed" ~ As written by a retired CHP

My husband's grandfather is a retired CHP.  He recently submitted this to a local newspaper and then forwarded it to my husband, who shared it with me. With Pa's permission I'm passing along his story as a reminder to always pay attention when you're driving, and be careful on the roads, no matter what the weather condition.

"EDITOR:

When I think about my career as a California Highway Patrol Officer I always focus on a traffic accident I investigated maybe 40 years ago. It was during one of those early rains. You know, the kind that brings the oil to the top and makes the road very slippery. Two sisters, maybe in their twenties, were driving southbound on US 101 through Santa Rosa in a Volkswagen bus. You remember them. They were shaped like a loaf of bread.

The sisters were talking, like sisters do, when traffic stopped in front of them. The sister driving applied the brakes but the bus slid into the rear of a flatbed truck. The impact was pretty hard. The front of the bus caved in, pinning both sisters quite firmly, chest high, to their seats backrests. Fortunately, they were not injured badly. However, the maybe 6 year old girl, who was sitting on her mother's lap on the passenger seat, died instantly of blunt force trauma from the unyielding hard metal truck bed. Those sisters, as have I, have been mourning that sweet little girl all this time.

I had a 6 year old daughter at home at the time. It was the worst day of my career.

So I say to anyone treading this, slow down and leave some space, as you don't want to create the worst day in a California Highway Patrol officer's career. 
 
--CHP Retired--"

Thursday, February 20, 2014

Goodbye, good friend

When a friend emails you at 8 a.m. on a Saturday, then sends a private message on Facebook, and then texts you to see if you got her messages, you would be inclined to think something important has come up. But logic would suggest if it were truly important, perhaps that friend would just call?

I recently received these alerts of urgency from a friend who was asking that I send her money using Western Union. She wasn't on vacation; she wasn't out of town; she told me she had car trouble and needed $120.00, but would definitely be able to pay me back in just a few days when she received her work check.  She actually went so far as to give me a specific date.

Whether it was my kindness or me being illogical, I called her to verify someone hadn't stolen her phone, and then I agreed to loan her the money. Western Union has significant fees to make money immediately available. Using our credit card to pay for this loan also incurred fees against our account. The total out of our pocket ended up at $155.00.  We confirmed with her that she was okay with this amount when it came time to pay us back.

Four days go by and I am relieved to see her text on the Friday she would be repaying the loan. Until I read her words asking for more money. Uh oh. New job; sick cat; rent due early. We heard excuse after excuse for weeks. Meanwhile, the money had been saved for a vacation to Las Vegas we had planned, but it was now unavailable for our trip. While on that vacation my cousin died, and I explained to my friend the money would really help with costs associated in attending his funeral. But this did not matter to our friend either. She did not care about the reasons I wanted repayment, but she also did not know that those weren't actually the most important thing to me. I needed the repayment in order to remain her friend.


Saying goodbye to less than $200 isn't really the upsetting thing here. It's that I trusted a friend whom I've known a long time. She came to our wedding, she recently left a surprise gift on our porch, and we've had a lot of fun times together at baseball games and bars. She has been a good friend and I feel like I've always been appreciative of that. But now it's time to say goodbye to her.

I guess I could have ignored her texts. I honestly hoped deep down that she really was having car trouble that early Saturday morning, but I also knew better. I could have said that we didn't have the money; or that we didn't want to loan it to her. But I hoped that if I were in a position where I needed to ask friends for money, someone would be willing to help me. I was that someone for her, but I don't think I helped anything. I certainly didn't help us stay friends. No good came of this loan. And now I have to say goodbye, good friend.  Perhaps, we both should have been reminded to "just say no."  I certainly would if I had it to do over again.


Monday, February 3, 2014

"My Cousin, My Friend, My Angel"

My mother’s older sister (Vicki) had only one child, my cousin Erik.  My mom’s younger sister (Sheri) has two children, my cousins Staci and Cody.  Erik was told in July 2013 he may only have a few days to live after being diagnosed with a very aggressive form of melanoma at stage 4. A month after that he was in a wheelchair with us and Staci at Disneyland as we celebrated my husband Casey’s birthday, but in too much pain to make it through a full day at the park. He couldn’t walk more than a few steps and it was a struggle even to get on and off the low impact rides. My Aunt Vicki  told me that Erik told her the worst thing about the cancer so far wasn’t the pain he was in, but that he remembered the day at Disneyland with us, and when Casey offered him a bite of his Monte Cristo sandwich, he was in too much pain to eat it and walked away from the table so that we wouldn’t see him cry as he called his mom to tell her.

For the last 4 ½ months he was in and out of the hospital with illnesses and for chemo treatments that initially gave great hope of shrinking the tumors. Then his liver had serious problems and chemo had to stop, which caused the tumors to return even more aggressively. Erik lived in Las Vegas for most of his adult life, until he returned to Orange County to live with his Mom during treatment last fall. He never drank or smoked. He was very religious and that kept him strong and positive through this battle. I felt very connected to him when I heard that his suffering ended the morning of January 30, 2014, while Casey and I were in Vegas. I had seen a beautiful sunset the day before that made me think of him, and amazing angels outside the Paris Hotel that also made me think of my cousin. Moments after we heard the news, it rained on us. A hot, Vegas rain that seemed like Heaven was crying with us, and lasted only moments.
 
 
 








Erik’s funeral will be on Saturday morning, 2/8/14. He was 36 years old. I am very sad about his passing but so happy his tremendous suffering is over.
 
I am one of the few people given the honor to speak in celebration of his life, and I prepared the following words the day we heard about his passing. It felt so natural to write about him that I didn't want to make any changes after that, so I've left it as it was originally felt:
 



(To be read 2/8/14):
 
I do not think I’ll be able to stand here and speak to you without crying, but I want you to know that even though my heart feels broken, I am standing here celebrating Erik's life. I will cry, but they will be tears of joy, for having such an amazing person in my life. My cousin Erik would not want us to cry in sadness for him, he would want each of us to have joy in our hearts, so with each tear, I feel my heart trying it’s hardest to begin healing. Erik would want to see smiles on every face and I’m going to do my best to give that to him.
 
My cousin is an amazing person.  He was kind and selfless and gentle. Through this incredibly difficult struggle Erik remained stronger and braver than I could ever imagine being, and we need to be as strong and brave as he was. We need to live as kind and loving as he did. His strength came from many sources. His love of the Lord and his faith in Christ were one. He knew he would be with his Father in Heaven and that God had a plan for him.  His strength also came from the love and support of his family and friends, because while he hurt, we all hurt with him. We traveled together every single step of the way with him. Even after it hurt too much for him to continue taking steps.
 
I will always have great memories of Erik. Every time I traveled to Vegas I insisted he let me come bug him for a little while. But the last time we spent the day together will always be my favorite. We celebrated my husband Casey’s 30th birthday last August at Disneyland. Erik didn’t have the strength to walk and run through the park so we rented a wheelchair, and through the day, our Cousin Staci, and Casey and I took turns pushing him. It was so hot. He was having such a hard time even though he was just sitting. He couldn’t do a lot of the rides, but he rode the rides with us that he could endure and we had the best day ever. He kept his pain hidden from us that day. He didn't want us to see him hurting, not because he was ashamed, but because he didn’t want it to hurt us. Even when he didn’t have to, he put our feelings in front of his.
 
I want to live my life in a way that honors God. And I want to remember my cousin in a way that honors him.  I will leave here with a joyful heart, for having known such a special human. I will leave with a smile for Erik. And each of us will leave with the knowledge that even though we will miss being able to reach over and hug and kiss him, he will always be in our hearts, hugging and kissing us from the inside, instead.
 
In celebration of Erik's life, I have written a poem that I would like to share, titled:
 
“My Cousin, My Friend, My Angel”
 
Little children once we were
Playing together at Aunty’s, upstairs,
Hide ‘n go seek, Barbies, or Cars
Dinner, then nighttime, and prayers
 
We chased each other at Nana’s
Rolled around on the backyard grass,
Swam in the Jacuzzi, Daily in Summer,
We giggled and joked and we laughed
 
Adulthood moved us apart
But you were never that far away,
Our visits became less frequent
But in my heart, you always did stay
 
When you told me that you were leaving,
That Heaven was calling you Home,
I hoped for the best, then prayed with the rest,
But too soon, our loved one was gone.
 
As you now look down on us smiling, Erik,
And each day of the rest of our lives,
Remind of us your presence and love
In each flower, each smile of joy,
and every brand new morning sunrise.