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Friday, April 10, 2015

Saying Goodbye to My Sister ~ Novato Community Hospital, Feb. 2015

I lost my little sister in an accident in February 2015. Shortly after, I wrote a review of Novato Community Hospital. I'm still coping with the tremendous sense of loss I feel, but writing about how I feel, and even writing to Dana, has helped me get through some of the more difficult moments.


















"You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
—Jim Rohn (1930-2009) ~ American Entrepreneur, Author And Motivational Speaker



3/1/15 - Novato Community Hospital, Novato, CA

My sister was taken to Novato Community ER just over a week ago. When I arrived with my husband an hour later, my parents and her husband were already there. It's still really hard to think about, but I remember how kind the staff attending to her was. They touched our arms, hugged us, moved silently around our teary faces to help her, and honestly explained what we were facing. A doctor came in and they quietly placed chairs behind us - that's never a good sign - and the news was not good. 

I spent the next couple of days next to her side, holding her hand and saying my goodbyes to a beautiful 31 year woman, daughter, sister, wife, and best friend.

The staff was so helpful. Our family was provided with a private room nearby with a couple of couches and a fridge, and they happily buzzed us through the security door to ICU at all hours. They kept the coffee full, put cookies out, and cleaned up the room when we weren't in there.  I believe someone brought hot breakfast to my mom the first morning.

The hospital chaplain was very nice and prayed with us. Security helped us find places we needed to go. The organ donation representative was extremely kind and informative. My little sister would be able to help save so many lives with her donations since she was so young and healthy. The woman was really wonderful and made us see something positive about the horribly tragic accident.

I sobbed, wept, and wailed for days straight - they never asked me to step out or regain control of my emotions. They allowed me to grieve, even though I was probably terrifying all the other ER patients. Staff was so incredibly wonderful. 

I said my last goodbye on Thursday and braided her pretty blonde hair. I cut off a braid and her husband asked me for it - so I wanted to turn her head and braid a piece on the other side for myself.  I asked a woman outside the room if it was okay to move her head without disrupting the life support. She coldly said she could "get a nurse" to help me with that. Maybe she was a doctor? Her tone was pretty condescending. My husband also asked a question about getting coffee refilled. This had been the hardest day for me yet - I had not eaten in two days and the coffee was the only thing keeping me awake on my feet. She curtly said "Hair. Coffee. Anything else you're going to need?!" Oh, I'm sorry - am I being too needy? Are you having a bad day? I gave my sister a final kiss goodbye and we went home. Without coffee.

The ladies at the information desk downstairs and the woman in the gift shop were all really sweet too. My Aunt bought three angels in the shop. One for my mother, one for me, and one that Dana was buried with, holding it between her hands. Thank you for being so kind to us at the most difficult time of our lives. Almost all of the people who we dealt with seemed more like angels themselves. What a hard job it must be at times. Thanks for being the loving hands that do your difficult job and help heal others every day. Your smiles and positive attitudes go further than you could ever know.