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Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Something To Be Thankful For

"Be joyful always,

pray without ceasing,

& in everything give thanks"

 
I think that it is important to live each day with a thankful heart.  Life is so precious, and I feel thankful for every moment I have.  I am thankful for my loving husband, my caring family, my thoughtful friends, and for all the people who aren't yet in my life. 
 
I am thankful for the good days and the bad ones. 
 
Some days it's hard to find reasons to be thankful. If this happens to be one of those days for you, let me make it a little easier:
 
Please view the proud MOMMY SPIDER covered in babies 
that our friend Jesse Sharp found in his home today.
Windsor, California
 
 
 
Be thankful you don't have her and all her babies as your housemate!!! Unless, of course, you live somewhere that you might see something like this indoors.
That would be absolutely  terrifying.

 

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Sometimes You Just Know (How I Met My Husband)

At the beginning of 2010 I found myself single and ready to meet new friends and have some fun.  I developed a great friendship with a friend from school.  Emily and I knew from the first day of paralegal school we were going to be friends.  We just knew!  We planned every class together and tied for top of each class with our straight A grades.  A teacher once pulled us aside and told us we belonged in law school, that we would be bored as paralegals.  It wasn't just her intelligence that drew me to her.  She was fun!  Emily and I referred to ourselves as "double trouble".  We found ourselves going out late, grabbing drinks after class, and having bonfires in my parent's backyard.  But perhaps there is such a thing as "too much fun." I began to realize we were sitting right on top that fence.

Perhaps that is why that after having a drink with a friend I'd known from grade school on March 5, 2010, I pursued a relationship with him.  Jesse was pretty much the opposite of me.  He loved being at home and worked very early in the morning so never went out late. This was a good thing! I enjoyed sitting at home and watching TV.  Most of the time.  From time to time I'd get calls from friends asking if we wanted to join them for pool or dinner.  But that wasn't really our style. I missed my friends.  We didn't even go out for dinner much; I just cooked at his house.  I loved that he had a good job and owned his home so I didn't complain that we spent all our time there and never went out for fun. It was what I thought I needed to settle down. Perhaps it was...
Jesse's friends came over pretty often. And then we'd all sit and watch TV together. So it wasn't a surprise when he told me on April 8, 2010 that his friend Casey was coming over for dinner and to spend the night before a day in SF with his family for the Giant's home opening game of the 2010 season.  Casey was planning to move to Florida and had a TV he was selling to Jesse.  I cooked dinner and then after some time spent in front of the TV, asked if the boys wanted to go play pool.  Jesse made a joke about me "always bugging him to go out" but told Casey he was free to go hang out with me.  Casey happened to love pool, so we drove to Cue N Brew in Martinez.  We paid for games by the hour and ordered drink after drink after drink.  Hours went by. I didn't win a single game. Then Casey started beating me with one hand, and taking shots on the 8 ball while looking at me.  Who was this show off?!  We really talked about everything, and he told me that if he were ever to marry again, it'd be to someone like me.  I told him to knock it off, since he was Jesse's friend.  As he used the restroom before the end of the night, I snuck my credit card to the waitress. I didn't want it to feel like a real date (even though it already did), so I decided he couldn't pay for any of my drinks.  Had I known the size of our tab I probably would have insisted he pay!


The next day I called my Mom and talked to her about how I felt about Casey. He was moving to Florida and I was dating his friend. It was absurd to even consider something more, but I couldn't let it go.  The night before we had talked about going to a Warriors game. We'd both said we wanted to get to one soon, and only a couple of days went by before Jesse asked me if I wanted to go to a game with Casey; he was going to be back in town.  I said yes! Jesse drove us to BART and dropped us off.  When we arrived at the game a huge rainbow was over the walkway from BART to the stadium. It was beautiful. Had it even been raining? We then realized we had both been under the impression the other one had tickets.  We lucked out and found tickets only a few rows off the court, from a man who had two extra and was happy to sell them for really cheap. It felt like lightening inside of my body when our knees bumped into one another throughout the game.  Was I leaning toward him in hopes my shoulder would brush his? Yes, I was.  As we rode BART home, the train was packed and we were pressed close to one another (and a ton of other hot, sweaty people).  But for me, it was only Casey and me on the train. And I tried to ignore how I felt but just couldn't imagine going home yet.  I didn't want the night to end, so we called my friend Sara and she picked us up and we all went to CJ's Saloon. It's a total dive bar but the owner is great and we always have fun.

April 16th is when Casey and I officially started dating.  It sounds crazy but he told me he loved me that night as we fell asleep. (I told him he sounded crazy!) I had broken up with Jesse after not even knowing Casey a week, but I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. My friends said they couldn't believe I'd met someone who was exactly like me. They all saw it right away also. We weren't the only ones falling in love. Within a short time after we began dating we had been to the Warriors game, an A's game, a Giant's game, and out with friends so many times.  I was singing karaoke with my friends and I met his friends as we played pool at their local bars and went to festivals like Petaluma's Butter and Eggs Day.  I met his family and loved them. My friends and family loved Casey, and they loved the person I was as I spent more time with him.  I loved that person too. 

I met my best friend on April 8, 2010, and we BOTH JUST KNEW.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

The Raccoons of the Contra Costa Canal

4/9/14

As with any subject in life, some people feel very differently than others about the presence of raccoons near their homes and yards.  Emotions surrounding one's view of raccoons likely depends on the kind of experiences they've had with them.  I've met a lot of people that feel very negatively about the furry bandits.  Perhaps gangs of them would sneak through their garbage at night, and leave them with the job of throwing everything away (for the second time) the next morning?  I could see that leaving a negative impression.  A small number of people keep North American raccoons as a pet.  I would more likely fall in that group, since they kind of remind me of a large cat.

My parent's home in Walnut Creek was the last house on their street, with a trail and a creek on the other side of their fence.  The trail was dirt when we moved in and my little sister and I would ride our dirt bikes on it, until it was paved in the early 1990's and motorized vehicles were no longer allowed.  The creek was a great place to play! A rope swing was the meeting place for neighborhood children for many summers. I also spent countless afternoons with my father crawdad fishing there.  We tied bacon to the end of our lines and pulled up the hungry little guys when we saw them grab on. We would sometimes eat our catch (though now I would not recommend eating anything out of the creek).  We also ended up with an aquarium of crawdads, and I learned a lot about them and watched them breed and sometimes cannibalize their young! I like to think that the creek crawdads thrived because the local raccoons were being fed elsewhere. 

Raccoons tend to live near water.  The meaning of their name comes from a combination of words that represent how they use and clean their hands.  My parent's have a "pet door" on both doors leading to our backyard for their small dogs. This also allowed our cats to come and go, though they really preferred to be indoors. However, we always kept a dish of dry food and fresh water out on the front deck for them. Often, I found other neighborhood cats coming by for food throughout the day, and I gave them names and made friends. A big orange cat was my favorite! "Peaches" would come inside sometimes but usually wanted out right away. I wondered if my cats made friends with other people, and hoped that they did not. What if they found someone they liked living with more than me?  :)  Foolish me: Impossible!

After the sun went down, another type of animal came for food and water.  The RACCOONS! With easy access under the front deck, they found shelter as well.  A family of raccoons made a nightly visit to our home. They cleaned their hands and then set to work eating the bowl of cat food. If the food was empty, they'd rap on the window and pop their heads up to ask for a refill. Year after year baby raccoons would join the family - there were even a few albinos in the group.  They used the pet door a couple of times and knew exactly were the inside food dish was.  Mom definitely did not approve of this. I also just about had a heart attack once when I walked inside our home and was greeted with a growl.  It wasn't a mean growl - the poor little guy was as scared as I was.

None of them were very aggressive.  A few would take food from your open palm if you held it out.  My dad was bit once, but I always escaped with only the soft, gentle movement of their claws attached to their very tactile hands.  I talked to them a lot at night.  They all had their own personalities. Some were slightly aggressive and fought the others for the first bites of food.  One of them lived with what I'm pretty sure was the equivalent of a developmental disability.  This sweet little guy would lay on the front deck, sometimes during the day. I found him napping on the front stairs leading to the door from time to time. His tongue was always hanging out and he walked a little funny. Not with a limp like he'd been hit by a car, more like he just leaned awkwardly.  I loved them all.

I'll never forget one night when I heard a scream. A horrendously unnatural, hair-raising scream of pain and fear.  I don't think I even realized at the time what I was hearing. A big raccoon was attacking one of the little ones. As the little one ran, the big one would chase and knock him down. It was horrible. I ran outside screaming at them to stop but the little one tried to climb away instead.  The big one began his climb also. They are actually very fast! I ran inside to get a pot to bang on but as I came back out they were both running off.  I hoped the little one hadn't fallen, and that he made it safely away. 

Some time later the neighbor across the street began trapping the family. Animal control in Contra Costa County receives the most calls for raccoon removal.  Where are they supposed to go? My mom told me our neighbor used live traps to relocate them, but these are animals who tend to live close to water sources; like a creek. They like to clean their hands and food. Plus, running water means drinking water.  I don't know where raccoons are moved to, but when you're moving one at a time, it would be impossible for families to stay together. Our pack was a family and I imagine without the protection of one another, a bigger raccoon would have no reason to not attack a small one in a wild, open space.  I think about my little friend with his tongue hanging out. He probably only survived as long as he did because our creek was safe and there was a lot of shelter and few nearby predators. 

I do understand that you are not to feed wild animals.  With the current drought in California, I often see reminders not to provide water for them either, because it is encouraging larger animals to come down from the hills into yards, in search of water.  It is safer for pets, communities, and drivers if they are not in our streets and near our homes.  But I do feel sad for my raccoons.  It was a long time ago now, but my mom still leaves water and food out for her cat, Chloe.  And every time I see the dishes I think of the little furry bandits I used to talk to.









Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Little Blessings for a Mobile Notary

I started doing mobile notary work about a year ago.  My real estate agent had called me one night and asked if I'd meet her at the hospital.  My husband went with me and her family signed numerous documents, with the unfortunate news her father did not have long to live. I didn't even want to charge her since we're friends but she said it wasn't fair that I came so late and it took so long, and insisted she pay me.  I thought it wasn't fair that she was cancelling her trip to Greece the next day and saying goodbye to her father, but graciously accepted the offer of payment.  And that's when it crossed my mind there is a need for a person who will travel to you at any time of night to do a notary.  It occurred to me that most of the people in need would probably be very ill, if they were unable to travel on their own, but I knew immediately it was something I wanted to do.

I set up a page on Yelp: "After Hours Mobile Notary" of Concord. And soon after, I began to get calls. I feel like $10-20 for travel fee is fair to both parties, so I never charge more than that, and sometimes I don't charge a travel fee at all.  I accept calls any time I hear my phone ring and have gone out very late at night.  My listed hours say I work until 11:30 pm.  I skip lunch from time to time in order to meet someone on my one-hour break from my office job. I've traveled as far as El Sobrante (20 miles), but generally my calls are closer than that. I've met at homes, businesses, hospitals, banks, auto shops, and other places!

I remember a call I received when I started that brought me to Pittsburg (15 miles away).  Pittsburg has some rough neighborhoods so my husband went with me and stayed in the car. I knocked on the door and it opened slowly.  It was very dark inside. I admit, I am often nervous about going in to homes alone because I don't know who or what waits inside. I entered slowly as I waited for my eyes to adjust. And then, I was observed by an entire family and directed to the back of the house.  There in bed lay the tiniest man I'd ever seen.  He was so skinny! He was on his side moaning and another man was in the room too: his attorney. His attorney apologized for the smell and the scene, neither of which bothered me.  A blanket shifted slightly and I saw his bare hip, which looked mostly like bone and my eyes swelled. He was a black man but he looked so pale and ashen. Good Lord, Amy, hold it together! He barely acknowledged me but was coherent.  The man looked so old and broken - I wanted to hug him and smile.  The attorney explained to him what he was signing, and he did his best to make his legal mark.  It took him a very long time. I left the room and joined his family at the front of the house. They told me about his cancer.  His children were actually younger than me: an athletic college-aged boy, and a girl with a short skirt and pretty hair. This man was much younger than I had thought at first glance; younger than my own parents.  The door had not even shut behind me yet when the tears started to come. I returned to my husband's car, and noticed all his texts to my phone. He was worried about me; I had been gone so long. I cried and told him about the man and the children and the smells. I told him about the cancer. It was the first time I'd ever seen someone like this before, and I'll never forget it. In turn, he shared with me about losing his grandmother to cancer, and her fast deterioration, and I knew he understood what I'd just seen.

I knew then that I was meant to see elderly and ill people; and see them at their weakest moments. That it would teach me compassion and remind me to appreciate life and spread love to every person. I go from place to place, often times finding elderly people alone, and sometimes quite lonely. One visit to an assisted living center and I was told the woman had not had visitors in the almost year long period she'd been there. She stayed alone in her bed, every day. She'd lost so much weight her dentures no longer fit properly and she was very difficult to understand. I always ask if the resident enjoys the assisted living center they're in.  Some do. Some have wonderful stories and smiles when they're asked. Others do not smile, and they do not enjoy where they are.

I once arrived at a rehabilitation facility and the client wasn't answering my calls, so I had no idea where to go.  So naturally, I explored! I found myself in the cafeteria.  I joined a table of men in the middle of dinner. They were of various ages and reasons for being there. One older man showed me the custom jewelry he made and sold online - he was missing an arm! I could not for the life of me identify what they were eating. The gray mush looked terrible.  I finally asked, and they weren't really sure either.  Not cool.  They each had a cup of ice cream for dessert.  The man to my left offered me his but I let him keep the only identifiable part of his meal.

It was late in summer last year when we put my cat down. It was the hardest good bye I could ever remember saying, and it brought me closer to the people I helped. My heart hurt so much ! At times I wept uncontrollably, even at my desk at work. I thought it would never stop.  How much worse the pain must be for these suffering people, and for the family members suffering alongside them. Nothing brings comfort to the grieving and it's never easy to say goodbye to anyone you love (cats included).

Not long after the incident with my cat, I met Tom & Karen Hill. Tom had called me and I drove to the trailer park where they lived off the run-down part of Monument Boulevard in Concord. This was not a nice, safe, mobile home park. It was a messy, dirty, trailer park.  On one of my visits Tom told me that the neighbors started coming around asking for pain pills after they heard his wife was sick.  Karen wasn't just sick; she was dying.  When I first met her, she wasn't able to get out of bed so I went into the small trailer and sat at her side.  She was so small too and my heart was reminded of the man in Pittsburg.  I left their home and sent a card a few days later.  They needed me to return another time and I picked some flowers outside of my office and brought them with me.  She still had them by her bed on my third visit, with my card taped to the wall.  These were two amazing people.  I wanted my husband to meet them, so I brought him with me on a visit.  Karen didn't have long. She could no longer sign her name and was almost too weak to make her legal mark. It was hard for me, but I enjoyed talking with her.  Near the end, she had her nails done with jewelry on her fingers. She told me she wanted something pretty to look at as she went to heaven.  She then told me about her first marriage, and also how happy she was with her husband now. We talked quite a while.  Through it all and my many visits, Wells Fargo in Concord was giving Tom hell as he tried to merge their accounts and get her finances in order.  The progression of her cancer had been so fast and they thought they would have more time but it was only a couple months after her diagnoses and here she was, unable to get out of bed. The indescribable horrors he faced included them being difficult on the day hospice told him it would probably be his wife's last. He should have been by her side every second but Wells Fargo was too evil to allow this. I helped as much as I could as he dealt with them but their overall actions were sickening to me.  I called Tom several weeks after his last call to me and asked how he was. When he said that Karen was gone I cried on the phone with him. He told me he couldn't bare to see her in such pain and was glad it was over. He reminded me to be happy and not cry for her.  I still think about them both from time to time, and it still makes me sad. But happy too for having met them.

I try to remember to bring joy with me when I do notary services; well, really I try to be joyful every moment of every day. I never know what sort of person I'll be meeting when I get a call. Sometimes it's a mother with a newborn baby that just wants the convenience of someone to come to their home, and for $10 it's really worth it! And sometimes it's someone saying goodbye to their mother. But at all times, I want to leave the people I encounter smiling, even if their hearts are heavy. I truly believe smiles are contagious. I've been asked by strangers in our office building what I'm smiling about. I never have more of a reason than "it's a good day".  Because EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY. Hug and kiss those around you, call the people you love, and smile at all the strangers. It's the easiest way to bring happiness to yourself and share little blessings with others.